As the year winds down, many of us are feeling rushed. Holiday shopping and end-of-year deadlines are compounded by  endless celebrations and holiday parties.

With all of this chaos, it's hard to set aside time to reflect on the past year. 

Most of us have things we'd like to change about our lives. Maybe its a habit, like smoking, overeating, or overspending.  Maybe we'd like to create a healthier lifestyle, make time for a committed relationship, or re-imagine our career.

Committing to making changes is a great step.  But all too often, New Years resolutions go by the wayside within the first three months of the year.  Any gym manager can confirm this trend.

So what is getting in our way of making substantive, lasting changes in our lives?

First, waiting for a specific time of year to act can be a crutch.  We postpone making change until a magical date, when our lives begin again as we enter a new year.  But in the process of waiting for January 1st, we've developed a toxic new habit - procrastination.

Second, in postponing change, we're signaling to ourselves that something outside of ourselves (a date on the calendar) is more powerful than our internal desire to change.  Once we've internalized this message, it's easy to be thrown off course by external events or circumstances.

Third, by delaying change, we're telling ourselves that it's okay - and even normal - to live a life that is less than what we want.  Would you share that message with your friends? Your children?  No?  Then don't accept it for yourself.

Finally, many of us make new years resolutions because our society expects it.  It's one of the top questions we're asked this time of year.  When we pledge change because of external - rather than internal - motivators, we're practically destined to fail, unless the external motivator triggers an internal motivator.  For example, if your boss tells you to dress more professionally (external motivator) you're more likely to change because of your desire to keep your job (internal motivator).

If you're serious about making a change, get clear on what you want and why you want it.  Then just go for it!  Don't wait.

If you're content with your life (congratulations!), please don't feel you have to commit to a goal just because everyone else is doing it.  If you fail, it may erode your confidence in your ability to succeed.  I'd refer to this effect as a "false negative" because the circumstances practically guarantee a poor outcome.

Instead, stay alert throughout the year to opportunities to improve your life.  Then act on them as they come up.  You'll be happier and more confident as you make small adjustments, successfully, throughout the year.