It's amazing how often the word "should" comes up.
I should finish that report before going to lunch. I should be grateful to have a job in this economy. I should accept the job offer with the highest salary.
How often do our unexamined ideals tie us down?
I'd like you to try an experiment. Think of something you don't want to do, but feel you have to do. Then turn it into a should statement.
For example, I should clean out my desk.
How do you feel when you say, type or think your should statement?
If you're anything like me, you feel a weight on your chest. You feel sluggish, unmotivated.
And chances are, feeling the way we do, we will not clean out our desk, or whatever it is you specified. Or, if we do, we will not enjoy ourselves while doing it.
The reason "shoulds" drag us down is that they reflect expectations that differ from our desires. They speak from an "objective" perspective of what behavior is most beneficial.
The quickest way to deal with a should is to cross it out. Who cares what's the "ideal" thing to do?
What really counts, when it comes to your behavior, is what you want to do.
"Want" statements are much more powerful. For example, I want to clean out my desk.
Because I feel better about my desk situation when I use the word "want," I'm more likely to clean the desk. Thus, replacing shoulds with wants will help you get better results.
What if you don't want to clean your desk? There's a happy in-between space called "choose to."
I may not want to clean my desk, but I can agree that clearing the space will help me to be less distracted, and, as a result, more productive. Thus, based on the expected outcome, I can make a choice to clean my desk.
Choosing your actions puts you in a much stronger space than having them dictated to you.
As you move into the Fall, a time in which nature cleans out last season's waste, keep on the lookout for "shoulds" that pop up in your life. Whenever possible, convert them into "wants" or "choose to's."
As you express your power of conscious choice, watch for the changes that arise with you. They may surprise you.
I aim to transform our collective perception of work. With a slight perspective shift, each of us can find and cultivate a deep sense of satisfaction in what we do.
Together we can find authentic meaning in a space that has become known as the grind. Most of us spend more than 2000 hours at work each year. Let's utilize and value that time, rather than dreading it. Together we can put work on our payroll.
Join me for the journey, and share your thoughts and questions!
